Navigating your way through wedding etiquette can be very confusing; the seemingly innumerable rules are enough to make any bride or groom's head spin. Here is some advice regarding cake etiquette from a baker's point of view.
• How should I display my wedding cake? Not only is your wedding cake a delicious dessert, but it is also the second most important visual centerpiece for your wedding (the first being the newlyweds, of course!). The cake should be displayed in a prominent place for all guests to view easily, usually on its own small table. If you are using a decorative cake serving set, it can be displayed on the table as well. Be sure, however, that the cake is not in direct heat or sunlight; icing can soften, decorations can melt, and your cake will sag.
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When and how do we cut the cake?
The cake cutting is usually one of the last activities at a reception, along with the boquet/garter tosses and first dance. (Be sure to alert your photographer and videographer before any of these events take place, so they can arrive at the scene before you or your guests.) Have your MC announce that it is time to cut the cake and direct the guests where to go.
If your cake has ribbon around it, remove the ribbon before cutting. Cut the cake with the groom’s right hand gently holding the bride’s right hand. Cut a V-shaped piece of cake out of the bottom layer, then use the spatula to lift it out. Set the cake on a small plate so you don't have to balance it on the spatula.
Now comes the cake controversy; to smash, or not to smash? TALK about this with your bride/groom beforehand. As funny as it is to smear dessert all over each other, keep in mind the bride's makeup and very expensive dress. I also like to point out that this tradition symbolizes the bride and groom's new responsibility to take care of each other, so I encourage people to take it seriously. However, it is ultimately your choice as a couple. If you do choose to feed each other nicely, traditionally the groom feeds the bride first, then the bride feeds the groom.
• How do we serve the cake?
If you hired a caterer for your wedding, they will usually take the cake to the back, where they will cut and serve it for you. If a friend or family member is cutting it for you, however, I would check this chart out beforehand: http://www.wilton.com/cakes/cake-cutting-guides/wedding-cake-cutting-guide.cfm. This website has directions for cutting cakes of all shapes and sizes. Make sure the individual(s) in charge of serving the cake have access to this chart during the reception. We've found that the easiest and least stressful way of cutting and serving a cake is to have two or three people take the cake to the food preparation area, away from the guests, to cut the cake, then bring plated cake slices back out to the serving area.
Or, you can have us make your cake out of styrofoam, and don't worry about serving it at all!
• What is a groom's cake?
A groom's cake has traditionally been an additional serving cake for guests to take home as favors. (Superstition dictated that if single women slept with the piece under their pillows, they would dream of their future spouses.) However, in more recent years, TV cake stars have made popular a new kind of groom's cake: a whatever-you-want cake! The groom's cake usually reflects the interests of the groom, and often comes as a surprise from the bride. We've seen groom's cakes shaped like dogs, baseballs, spaceships, burgers, video game consoles...you name it! The groom's cake is a fun way for the couple to express themselves without detracting from the beauty of the wedding cake.
• What is the best way to freeze the top layer for our anniversary?
We hear stories from both sides: some people have great tasting cake a year later, while others are not so lucky. This has just as much to do with what your cake is made of as how you store it. Fondant icing does not do well in the freezer; it becomes sticky and gross. Buttercream frosted cakes do better in the freezer, but please make sure to double or triple wrap your cake in plastic wrap, then heavy duty tin foil around that, then put it in a cake box (or small cardboard box). Remember that this cake will be in your freezer for a year; please do not store fish or anything pungent next to it. The smell and flavor can permeate into your cake. When your anniversary arrives, take the cake out of the freezer, but wait for the cake to completely thaw before unwrapping and eating it. That way, the condensation will form on the outside of the wrapping instead of on your cake.
My opinion? Anniversary, shmanniversary; take the cake on your honeymoon! That way you'll get to enjoy more than one bite of it, and you won't even have to wait a year!
• What about flowers on my cake?
C&T Custom Cakes can make flowers out of icing, gum paste, or fondant for your cake. If you prefer real flowers on your cake, talk to your florist. The florist usually provides the flowers and does the arranging on the cake. Do not attempt to do this yourself unless you are knowledgeable about flowers! Not all flowers are safe for use on edible cakes. Some have been treated with pesticides that can add toxins to your cake, and some just have natural chemicals in them that are not safe for humans. Any florist should know which flowers to use that will be safe and beautiful!
When it comes to tradition, I stand by one simple rule: it's your wedding! Do what's important to you. Talk to your soon-to-be spouse and decide together how you want your dream wedding to be. I'm not one for quotes, but I really like this one from Bill Cosby: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." For your wedding, do what will make you happy, and don't worry about what other people might say or think. It's YOUR day; you get to choose how to celebrate!
